Extraaaaaaaaaaaa Innings!

“Hello and Welcome to Extraaa…(a to the power of 100) innings. You just witnessed a historical inaugural tournament “McAfee Champions trophy”  and we at the studio witnessed the historical Mandira Bedi. Hahahaha. Jokes apart. I am your anchor, the six pack showing ex model and now brand ambassador of “musli power”  Jackie Shroff. IN the studio we have today sensational player of the yesteryears Arun Lal(in the studio from 3 AM), the ever young, ever beautiful, ever lasting, Mandira Bedi(today with short hair and wearing the Zimbabwean flag as her sari-just to create some controversy in the poor country). Of course we also have all the other losers of Indian cricket, Saba Karim, Deep dasgupta, Jadeja(both Ravindra and ajay variety), Rameez raja , Arshad Ayub and Narendra Hirwani.

Let’s begin our show today with the first question to Navjot Singh Sidhu..Hahahaha Surprise isn’t it? That is the specialty of our show. bhaisaab! Oye..zara woh Muesli power dena tak gaya hoon..(Discrete product placement)

JS(Jackie Shroff): Mr Sidhu, What do you think of the matches today?

NSS(Navjot Singh Sidhu): Oye Mandira madam..Kaise ho! Nice saree..matches with my turban no? So what are you covering today?? in today’s show madam of course!

JS: Sir camera rolling…Adjust your multi rainbow color turban and stop ogling on mandira didi..sorrry bedi.

NSS: Oye teri..yes..Jackie, you are right, it was a historical today for the Mongoose team for losing their first ever tournament. (quickly bends down and looks at his thigh where all the words in the oxford dictionary has been written down). A combination of palpable cricket with a great grit exhibited by the batsman resulted in a mix of aneryuism and aggravated the non synchronous bowling attack causing a pseudo phenomenal detrimental effect which led to the ball reaching the maximum projection and hitting relative velocity equal to the escape velocity of the sphere…and…

JS: Sir, you have written down your son’s physics book instead! OK OK..let me turn to Arun Lal for his views..

AL(As usual trying to put up a very intelligent face): Great game. Just fantastic. The match went down to the wire and all the spectators(2 of them) got their money’s(Rs.3.50) worth. In the end, Mongoose did not win, Sales did not win, and even Tech support did not win.

JS: Sir what are you saying? Are you trying to create another controversy so that the TIMES NOW folks can keep looping your face all day long?

AL: No my friend Jackie.. All i was saying was, In the end, Mongoose did not win, Sales did not win, and even Tech support did not win, but Cricket was the winner!

NSS: God, Tussi Great ho!

MB(Same pose as the 2003 World cup of course): Thanks Siddu ji..i did a vampire role in that movie.

AL: Mandira ji..please don’t steal my thunder. No one remembers my expert comments of the 2003 world cup but everyone remembers you! I still can’t understand why!

JS: OK OK..coming back to today;s tournament. Mr Arun Lal, what do you think were some of the finest moments?

AL: Great question Jackie Great question.

JS: Sir..answer tho dena…

AL: Pass

NSS: Pass

MB: Pass

JS: Gentleman and lady, we are not playing fantasy football here. You are liable to answer any question I throw upon you else you will all be made to watch my movie “Tridev”..hahahahah(villainous laugh)

MB: OMG! Let me answer that. As far as I can remember, The bowling spell of Gilli Prabhu in the first match(MCC vs Sales), the batting of captain Aju, brilliant keeping by Dinesh were the highlights of the game. Of course not to mention man of the series Allaudin and his genie.

JS: Madam, Sorry to interrupt, this is a family show and your Saree is dropping like the currency value of Zimbabwe.  Btw what was that Genie you were talking about?

MB: Ofo..jackie..tu bhi na! Allaudin’s Genie is the leg umpire of course..

JS: Yes Yes..today’s day will go as a black day in Indian Cricket history as the goal was not allowed even though the ball crossed the line but instead it was signaled a boundary by the referee!

NSS: Jackie..you always mix up your lines, now you mix up sports as well?

JS: Sorry sir, Musli power effect..OK now lets go to the presentation ceremony for live highlights of today’s game!

As usual it is Ravi Shastri at the presentation ceremony…

“Hello and welcome to the presentation ceremony…the match went like a tracer bullet and in the end, Tech R Us emerged the winner, So lets not waste and take a deep “dasgupta” dive into the pictures” 

The Trophies sponsored by "MUSLI POWER-GO GET IT"

The Man with the broken arm! Aju gets the Man of the match award for Mongoose vs Sales

Manju with Tech R us gets the man of the match award for sales vs  Tech r us.

















The runner's up proudly show the trophy:) : Mongoose 

Although the winners don't look so excited:) Tech U rs

Man of the series Losing captain Aju.






























Best bowler of the tournament..Gilli prabhu


























Best performer in finals..Naveen

Allaudhin..Man of the match and best batsmen of the tournament

MCC extend their winning streak!

PTI, Bangalore: MCC remained undefeated wrapping up a massive victory and a thrilling tie with Biz Ops on Super Saturday. The team backed by a superb all round performance by Gilli Prabhu(yes.Including the idlies and bananas) walloped the Biz ops on Saturday.

On a cloudy and windy Saturday morning, Biz ops committed a fatal mistake of putting MCC to bat after winning the toss.  

MCC score would have been just 94 in 12 overs but thanks to an amazing last ball run by Mouli the score went on to become a massive 95. This set the stage for the bowlers and the initial spell by Gilli Prabhu was enough to scare the wits out of Biz ops. Biz ops captain Asif true to his name pretended AS IF there was no tension in the team as wickets tumbled both at the striker and non striker end. In the end it was a easy victory for MCC. The best scorers for Biz ops was “Over throws” and “Extras” who were initially not in the playing 11.

The second match which turned out be a nail biting, finger biting, banana biting match of the day. Biz ops chasing yet another garangutan score of 96 , this time in 10 overs, needed only 12 runs off the last over. Here is the run up of events of the last over.

Captain courageous Aju takes up the ball, sets the field, comes in bowl. Suddenly there is a “Whack”! The crowd(all of 3 kids and one coconut vendor) see the ball go up in the air, below Gilli P is lining up to take the catch of the match. Aju starts to celebrate. In a sudden twist of event only found in Mahesh bhatt’s movies, the wind forces the ball beyond Gilli P and lands into the boundary. The red haired and red faced Aju hides his disappointment, goes back to his markup, does a silent prayer in Sreesanthesque manner and bowls again. WHACK. The wretched sound of ball meeting the willow. This time KK on long off runs hard to his left, but the velocity of the ball is more than the velocity of his legs, reaches the boundary and KK continues his run to the adjacent house outside the ground. All of a sudden, Biz ops need only 1 run off the last ball.  All the fielders including the umpires and the leg umpire come closer to the batsman. Mouli, KK and Anup come so close to the batsman, the batsmen starts to shiver. Aju comes in bowl and waits to hear the sound. THUMP!! That’s the sound of the ball meeting the wickets. OUT. The match is a tie and there is no super over!! MCC celebrates and so does the coconut vendor.

Notable Performances:

Player of the day: Gilli Prabu. Not for his amazing quick fire 58, not for his hawk like fielding and run out efforts, not for his brilliant bowling spell, but for showing up as early as 6 AM and reserving the pitch when the rest of the team were stuck in a dead end.

Fielder of the day: Anup. Not for dropping 3 catches but for stopping a crucial boundary at  crucial time.

Wicket Keeper of the day: Dinesh(not mongia) for his excellent wicket and goal keeping. Also for scoring 23 crucial runs including a sweet cover drive. Later he thanked sponsors EK retail for king size bananas for all his energy.

Appeal of the day: Mouli. For shouting “Howzzzzzat” for a dismissal in which the batsman was caught, stumped and run out in the same ball. However the umpire decided to go to Asif who AS IF he was the third umpire decided to give himself “Not Out”.

Find of the day: Debutants Sagar and Shekar. Basically for finding the ground even though the car they were following was lost.

All in all yet another great team effort. Look out for match photos shortly! 
Disclaimer: All characters presented in this report are fictious and bare only some resemblance to persons living, dead or in between.
Please don't thulp me.
Thanks
Special Correspondent. Now Anonymous.

Mongoose Cricket Club(MCC) steamroll Oracle!!

PTI: 16^th May(Sun), Bangalore: The newly formed Mongoose Cricket Club emerged victorious in the BPL(Banerghatta Premier League) on Saturday. The team whitewashed the Oracle/Assorted 11 by winning not one, not three, not four but two matches back to back. As Mr Navjot singh Sidhu said “It was a Magnificient, iconic, Platonic, dinosaurian victory”

On a sunny Saturday morning, the MCC team scored a massive 99 for loss of not so many wickets in 12 overs. The captain Aju  hit a magnificient 50 which helped the team get to this challenging total. The oracle team tried many tricks to get the captain out, but could not achieve this near impossible feat. The other batsmen in the dug out realizing they may not get to bat decided to run him out. But the captain was upto the challenge and at one point even rolled into the crease almost at the speed of light. Later he was offered the job of the pitch roller by the curator.

Oracle could never gather the momentum for the chase thanks to excellent spell by debutant Naveen. He took four wickets for not so many runs thanks to his very effective spin bowling on a track which helped the seamers. Finally the home team lost the match by a whopping 17 runs.

The second match turned out a easier victory for the vistiors as they had to chase a paltry 70 runs. MCC chased this down with 4 balls(3 hard tennis balls and one soft tennis ball) to spare and for the loss of just 1 wicket. During the post match award ceremony the captain said “ inshah allah, the boys fielding well, catching well, batting well, bowling well”.

Here are the other awards that was presented

DLF Man of the first match: Aju for rolling into the crease  and playing with a full bladder.

DLF Man of the second match: Naveen for his power hitting and at one point almost the bowler litterally.

Max mobile Best fielder: Mouli for 2 run outs and 3  misfields.

Agarwal agarbathis Best fielder(consolation prize): Sandeep for stopping the ball with his tummy and getting rid of his constipation. Also saved 3 runs.

Suguna Chicken Best bowler: Amzath Basha for not bowling a single over but bowled extremely well in the warm up games.

Dainik Jagran Best Umpire: Mouli for calling a wide a wide.

Karbon Kamal Best Batsman: Prabhakar for belting 3 idlies, one vada, half dosa and by two coffee in 3 minutes.

Hyderabadi biryani Best keeper: Dinesh for hitting the stumps so many times that it was decided to play without the wickets.

With this win, the franchisee owner has decided to provide the teams the much needed tshirt, track pants and cap at a nominal rate of 525 only. The team captain responded by saying “In shah Allah,  the boys fielding well, catching well, batting well, bowling well”.

Overall it was a great team victory and will be remembered for a long time. The karnataka govt has decided to add this match in the textbooks for 5^th standard so that it is remembered by all.

-Our Special Correspondents

Welcome Mongoosers

Hello and Welcome to the website of Mongoose cricket club(MCC). This site is intended for the esteemed members of MCC and will have updates of match schedules and results.

Watch out for more!